The Beginning of a Dream

I did not know that dreams could be born in a child's heart, then grow with him year after year, until they become part of his soul.

I was a simple girl, living in a small village, but my heart was bigger than the borders of the village. Since I was in the seventh grade, I used to look at women doctors with indescribable admiration. I used to say to myself: "A day will come when I wear the white coat and become a doctor who treats people and eases their pain."

My dream was not just a certificate to hang on the wall, but a calling I wanted to live for. I dreamed of becoming a doctor and heart surgeon, because I believed that the heart is the organ most in need of someone to care for it.

And despite my young age, I had drawn my entire future in my imagination. I used to say to myself: "I will work hard, and I will enter medical school, and one day I will return to the neighborhood where I grew up, to build a school for its children, so that no child will have to travel as I traveled in search of knowledge."

Getting to the school was not easy. I used to cover distances from my village to another village to continue my education, then I moved to the city to complete my studies. The road was long, but it did not frighten me, because the dream was bigger than the exhaustion.

I used to return home exhausted, but I slept every night seeing myself closer to my dream. I did not know that the road I was walking was not filled only with exhaustion, but was also filled with those who would try to stop my steps.

I thought the hardest thing on the road was studying, but I later discovered that the hardest battles are not those we fight with books, but those we fight with reality.

At that time, I did not know that my dream would one day become a question that pains me whenever I remember it...

That is why I ask a question to which I have found no answer to this day:

Who killed my dream? Not because I am looking for someone to blame, but because I am still searching for that dream which was once the reason for my smile, then became the reason for my pain.