Part 2

Part Two: The Law of Fullness (The Philosophy of Excessive Attentiveness)

"After the first storm of wonder subsides, you find yourself facing a silent question: how do I keep this glow alive? And here begins the elegant catastrophe we call (attentiveness).

You do not merely care for him, you besiege him with your presence so he sees no one but you, and you begin to fill his voids before he even feels them. You run toward him carrying your heart in your hands like a lantern, fearing for it a mere breeze, and you forget that on your way to him... you were burning yourself. Excessive attentiveness is not always proof of love; at its core it is fear of loss; it is a desperate attempt on our part to make ourselves a 'necessity' that cannot be dispensed with in the other's life.

Watch yourself closely at this stage of the memoirs; do you remember how you began to give up your hours of sleep, your little hobbies, and your comfortable silence, just to mend a bad day he was going through? You have turned from (a partner) into (a savior), and from (a lover) into (a shadow). The painful philosophy here is that the more excessively you pour your attentiveness into the other's vessel, the more emptied you become.

The problem with excessive attentiveness is that it cancels distance, and distance is the lung through which love breathes. When you cling to him completely, he stops seeing you, not because he does not love you, but because you have become too close to be seen. You have become like air; present in every exhale and inhale, yet he feels your worth only when he suffocates.

Ask yourself now as you read: is what you offer attentiveness springing from abundance, or is it an attempt to buy a permanent seat in his memory? Beware, for the moment your attentiveness becomes a 'duty' and attachment a 'habit,' the theory begins to collapse, and he begins to search for an empty space... away from you."